One of my favorite pastors - Bob Deffinbaugh loves creative titles so I am inspired to hook your curiosity ....
Words are powerful. They have the ability to positively, or negatively shape our lives. I can recall at age 13 playing a baseball game. I was pitching rather poorly one day. It was 2 outs, bottom of the 6th, bases loaded, and we were one run up. I just threw 3 straight balls. My coach, Jerry Jones, called time out and leisurely strode to the mound. Here it comes, I thought to myself, a royal chewing out or he was going to yank me off the mound. Instead, he simply said, "Suck up your gut and throw strikes." He calmly walked back to the dugout. That has been of great encouragement to me and a great lesson on how to handle adversity. His message was simple .... 1. can't change the past 2. focus on the future and what you can control and 3. I have confidence in you. Alternatively, I remember sitting on the school bus and a girl next to me shouted, "ooooo, you have dirty ears!" To this day, I ALWAYS use a q-tip in the morning to clean my ears.
Maybe you have heard one of the following lines ...
- Can't you do anything right?
- What's wrong with you?
- You'll never learn ...
- You're always breaking something
- Oh, let me do it ....
Think about kids (or spouse, family member, friend) these days. Some have Christian parents, others do not. Some have Christian friends, others do not. What messages are they hearing from Mom/Dad, brother/sister, other family members, friends, teachers, us? What are they hearing from society ... music, advertisements, books, movies? What about the messages they overhear? What about the sarcastic cuts and jokes? Anger?
Words are powerful. They say a lot about the sayer. They say a lot about how the receiver reacts to them.
Let's see what Paul has to say in Ephesians 4:29 "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear"
I am no Greek scholar, but any mild brush with ancient Greek reveals a very expressionistic language full of word pictures. Let's take the word "unwholesome." The Greek word is Sapros. It's meaning is .... rotten, putrified, corrupted by one and no longer fit for use; worn out, poor quality, bad, unfit for use, worthless. The word picture is of rotting fruit ... smelly, meally, fungus, buggy; another picture is of rotting wood, withered flowers and RANCID fish! So Paul's exhortation is that not ONE word that fits the above description should be used in reference to another person. Otherwise, you're just sling'n garbage, hence Garbage Slinger.
"...but only such a word as is good" Good=Agathos in Greek which means suitable, serviceable, profitable, benefiting others. OTHERS not ourselves. Typically, words spoken in anger are for our benefit - relieving our own frustration and not helping the situation. The target of the words is the other person, for their benefit. Look for ways to compliment someone. Watch their faces light up!
"... for edification" Oikdome - The definition is the act of building up, the act of one who promotes anothers growth in Christian wisdom, piety, happiness; alternatively, a building .... edifice. The word picture is of creating a building, brick by brick - deliberately constructing something solid with a purpose. When we moved to Houston in 1995, we were the 15th house in a subdivision of 754. Over the next 8 years, I watched the other 739 homes being built. They all followed the same routine .... Surveyor would survey the plot of land; set the foundation stake; measure the rest of the foundation; forms would be set; trenches dug; pipes and rebar laid ... on and on. This is the picture of building someone up, one brick at a time. A garbage slinger would kick over the stakes, steal the stakes, place the stakes in a different place - all of these efforts would be bad or unfit for use. As you look at your own kids and their friends, are they a picture of disrepair, poor quality construction? Are you a Brick Layer - building someone up, one brick at a time (Rome wasn't built in a day)? Believers are to instruct, improve, inform, enlighten and uplift.
"... according to the need" - There is a certain deliberateness about this word. In order to fill a need, you must first be able to assess that there IS a need - discernment. Second, it is about their need, not yours. Third, your response needs to be customized to their need, not one size fits all. It requires a sensitive, personalized touch. Fourth, be quick to LISTEN first and ask questions later. Don't forget the non-verbal clues. What signals are being sent?
"of the moment, that it may give grace" In the Greek, this is charis which means adds delight or pleasure or a winning quality or attractiveness that invites a favorable reaction. Our spoken words can be used by God to transform trail into triumph; sorrow into joy. It was God's grace that saved us through His Son's death. He is asking us to use positive language which will transform another human being and renew their mind (Romans 12:2)
It's easy to sling garbage and create havoc and damage in the process. It's harder to build brick by brick, but the foundation laid will bear sweet fruits along the way.
So what is it gonna be? How will your powerful words be characterized? ... Destroyer or Builder? Garbage Slinger or Brick Layer?
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